By: Troy Boesen
Dr Dre Memorial Battle Royal
Mojo Rawley, Apollo Crews, Big Show, Chad Hawkins, Braun Strowman, Goldust, R-Truth, Primo, Epico, Curtis Axel, Bo Dallas, TransJinder Mahal, Sami Zayn, James Ellsworth, Alicia Fox, Noam Dar, Luke Harper, Dolph Ziggler, Kalisto, Kane, Erick Rowan, Heath Slater, Fandango, Junk Yard Dog, Konnor, Viktor, Jason Jordan, Jey Uso, Simon Gotch, Jimmy Uso, Jimmy Snuka, Aiden English, Tyler Breeze, Alberto Del Rio, Samoa Joe, Titus O’Neil, Mark Henry, Bit O’ Honey, Dana Brooke, Chad Gable, Referee Jack Doan, Cody Rhodes, Jack Gallagher, Maybe others
The Build: Andre died, so we could get a pre-show match that would give all the guys who got pushed off the card because of old people a chance to get a pay day. Not the candy bar, but that would be nice to.
My Pick: BRAUN
Singles Match for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Neville © vs Austin Aries
The Build: Neville said he beat everyone, even when he didn’t, so Austin Aries decided that he was done being a commentator and challenged the Man That Full Beards Forgot. Aries had to win a #1 Contender match instead of just beating Neville in a non-title match.
My Pick: Neville
Singles Match for the WWE Championship: Bray Wyatt © vs Baby Beard Orton
The Build: Baby Beard Orton had a plan to destroy the Wyatt Family that included getting rid of Luke Harper, and that’s about it. But even though Harper is now done with the Wyatt Family, Baby Beard wants to end Bray, who won the WWE Championship at Auschwitz. Baby Beard first said he would not cash in his Rumble in the Bank win but then decided LOL I will.
My Pick: Bray Wyatt
Singles Match for the WWE Universal Championship: Goldberg © vs Brock Lesnar
The Build: Goldberg is old. He got a title shot for no reason. Then he beat Kevin Owens. Now he faces a guy he beat twice, once in less than two minutes.
My Pick: Goldberg because fuck it.
Non-sanctioned match: Seth Rollins vs Triple H
The Build: Triple H cost Seth Rollins the Universal Championship. Rollins then had a chance to win the belt himself but failed to, so he really only has himself to blame for this and really doesn’t need to face Triple H. Rollins killed his knee again because Cross Fit is not good for your body. He signed a deal that is a slap in the face to Daniel Bryan that allows him to fight without doctor’s approval.
My Pick: Rollins
The Undertaker vs Roman Reigns
The Build: Undertaker and Roman Reigns both purchased houses that share a backyard, but neither can agree where the property line is.
My Pick: Roman Reigns, cause fuck fans.
Shane McMahon vs AJ Styles
The Build: AJ Styles, the bad guy, keeps getting fucked over by Shane McMahon, the good guy. He got fired for doing the same type of crime that Baron Corbin committed. Corbin got a title shot, and Styles got booked to face Shane.
My Pick: Shane because Styles will quit SmackDown Live.
Fatal 4-Way Elimination Match for the WWE Raw Women’s Championship:
Bayley © vs Charlotte Flair vs Sasha Banks vs Nia Jax
The Build: Bitches be crazy.
My Pick: Bayley, but take a shot every time a pin gets broken up.
Singles Match for the WWE United States Championship: Chris Jericho © vs Kevin Owens
The Build: Kevin Owens had a title match coming up but realized that he was only retaining because Chris Jericho kept helping him. So he got rid of Jericho. Then proved himself right by losing his belt.
My Pick: Kevin Owens
Mixed Tag Team Match: John Cena and Nikki Cena vs The Miz and Maryse
The Build: The Miz and Maryse continued to point out that John Cena and Nikki Bella are really only together to get publicity for their relationship and are obsessed with media attention. Cena will most likely propose to Nikki after this match, which would prove Miz and Maryse right.
My Pick: CeNikki
Singles Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship: Dean Ambrose © vs Baron Corbin
The Build: Baron Corbin straight up tried to kill a muthafucka. This earned him a title shot.
My Pick: Baron Corbin
Dog Pile Match for the WWE SmackDown Women’s Championship:
Alexa Bliss © vs Becky Lynch vs Natalya vs Mickie James vs Carmella vs Chyna’s corpse vs Maybe Emma vs Maybe Summer Rae vs Maybe Naomi vs Maybe Baby vs Fuck It Stephanie McMahon
The Build: Alexa asked to have Wrestlemania off, instead Daniel Bryan said she would have to face every available SmackDown Live woman.
My Pick: Alexa Bliss
Triple Threat Ladder Tag Team Tormoil But Probably W/Tags Match for the WWE Raw Tag Team Championship:
Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson © vs Enzo Amore and Big Cass vs Cesaro and Sheamus
The Build: Gallowson were idiots, thinking that breaking up a #1 contenders match would net them a PPV off; it did not.
My Pick: Enzo and Cass
By: Troy Boesen
Raw happened. It was again all about the Authority Figures. Micker Foley was fired at the top of the show in order to finally put a bullet in this terrible storyline, and Triple H kinda took on his job in a way. More stuff happened with The Undertaker and other shit happened as well.
SmackDown Live cut off Daniel Bryan's damaged balls. Shane reversed Daniel’s decision to fire Styles. Both WWE shows this week had authority figures fighting each other. Yippee.
By: Andrew Lister
Welcome to the next installment of Tuesday Top Five! From time to time I'll be coming up with a Top 5 spanning a number of geeky topics. Since I've been spending so much time with the new Nintendo Switch, I thought I'd cover the Top 5 reasons to own one!
I'll not try to mask the truth: I'm a huge fan of Nintendo. My love for the company dates back to my early years playing the Nintendo Entertainment System. I sunk so many hours with my neighborhood friends into dozens of games. Playing through Final Fantasy I on the NES is the reason I'm into fantasy, RPGs, and tabletops. When Sega came onto the scene, I still prefered the SNES. I adored my N64, and don't even make me try to count up the number of hours I've spent on my Nintendo handheld systems.
Nintendo has gotten a bit of a bad wrap as of late with the release of their last generation system, the Wii U. I could understand what some of the gripes were with the system, but overall I really enjoyed it. People complain about the lack of games, but there was a really good library that kept me busy over the last several years.
As you might imagine, when Nintendo announced their new system, the Switch, I was more than excited. I managed to get one the weekend that it was released, and I want to share with you all the Top Five reasons why you should consider getting the console.
Check out this week's Top Five by clicking below!
By: Troy Boesen
MONDAY NIGHT REIGNS
MNR happened. A great deal happened actually, and somehow, McMahon refrained from closing the show with Roman’s music hitting, although, his music did play in the main event.
SDL happened. It was better than Raw in that it has a young champion at least.
by Adam Salzer
It's the last stop on the road to WrestleMania! I'm not really looking forward to most of the matches on this show! Will it be the expected shit show or will it rise above it's poor promotion? Let's find out together!
By: Troy Boesen
It’s time for Raw to put on a show with WWE Passing Lane!
Rich Swann and Akira Tozawa vs The Brian Kendrick and Noam Dar
The Build: We need some cruiserweights, dammit! Kendrick wanted Tozawa to be his protégé, but Tozawa refused. Swann and Dar were added for posterity sake.
My Pick: Swanzawa
Singles Match for the WWE Universal Championship: Kevin Owens © vs Goldberg
The Build: Billium Goldberg was tossed out of the Royal Rumble and requested a title shot match. He was given a title match. Kevin Owens decided that he was done being a goofy schmuck and DELETED Chris Jericho. Big Kev said that Goldberg got lucky and that he never liked Goldberg growing up (which may actually be true as Owens was a WWE Mark all his life). Golfborg made faces and grunted.
My Pick: Fucking hell. Probably Goldberg, although, Owens dropped the line “The EVOLUTION of Kevin Owens”, as we know, Evolution is a mystery, but we could be getting a Triple H led stable.
Roman Reigns vs Bruan Strowman
My Pick: Hees da plan, nobody wins baybey.
Gentlemanly contest for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Neville © vs Jack Gallagher
The Build: Gentleman Jack the Quipper earned a match against King Neville for the Cruiserweight belt via a Midget Battle Royal. Mary Cockings and The Man That Sideburns Forgot are set to do battle because we had to do something with the belt.
My Pick: Neville actually retains.
Tag Team Match for the WWE Raw Tag Team Championships:
Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson © vs Enzo Amore and Big Cass
The Build: My name is Enzo Amore, and I am a chicken fucking, bottom rope ducking, crowd heat sucking waste of an over talent and Vince Can Ruin That. This right here, this is Big Cass, and he’s a big sweaty man with girl hair and a lack of personality, and Vince Can Ruin That. Badda Boo, 3 months past our due! How we losing?
My Pick: The Club via Shenanigans so that Enzo and Cass can win at Mania.
Singles Match for the WWE Raw Women’s Championship: Bayley © vs Charlotte Flair
The Build: Charlotte doesn’t care about Raw. Instead of getting beat by a 15 year old hood rat, she got beat by a kid with Autism on Raw. Don’t worry though because Charlotte gets her chance to win the belt back to become a 21 time Women’s Champion.
My Pick: Charlotte Flair LOL
Sasha Banks vs Nia Jax
The Build: WWE wants a fatale four way orgy at Mania, so they need to have “Since I was a lit tel girl” Sasha take on Umaga in drag.
My Pick: Nia Jamal.
Sami Zayn vs Samoa Joe
The Build: Sami Zayn was told to keep Joe’s name out his mouth. He didn’t.
TV & Movies
Henry Huge Pecs
Ray Williams III
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